For six years, Anna Marie
Lope lived in constant fear and depression. Exhausted by continuous
emotional, physical and sexual abuse, she twice attempted suicide, only
to enrage her husband who would then doubly punish her for finding
different ways to "escape" their marriage.
The trouble was her
family was in continuous denial of what was happening to her and would
often suggest not to confuse "marital discord" with "domestic violence".
And her husband believed he had successfully caged his wife in his
prison forever.
Little did they know she, with support from her
friends, had decided to leave the United Arab Emirates (UAE) for good in
a true Bollywood style thriller with a meticulous plan in place.
"The
first time he physically abused me was in 2007 when he got to know that
I was thinking of leaving the marriage. And the punishment for this was
30 minutes of beating during which he used belts and punches to teach
me a lesson," Lope, who now lives in south Delhi, told IANS.
"That
was also the first time I attempted suicide and then again in 2010
because I had no one to talk to and I had to put up a happy face
whenever I went out to meet his friends and family. I was living under
his constant surveillance. I was living a dual life," recalled Lope who
was born in the UAE and moved to India in 2012.
The 28-year-old
now works as a programme officer in communications at Maitri, an
organisation that works with vulnerable population.
Not always is
the "domestic violence" a trigger to charge your courage. Women in our
society are still seen as "homemakers" who can have conventional jobs
that require them to balance their professional and domestic life.
But
Delhi-based Omkari Devi always wanted to do something that was
different as she admits studies were never her cup of tea. So when she
learnt about driving classes she jumped with enthusiasm to take on to
the road.
However, the hurdles were many.
"My family was
completely against this idea of driving. They told me that I had gone
mad because it is only men who are drivers. 'Auratein yeh kaam nahi
karti' (women don't drive) was the most common statement I heard from
everyone, including my husband and daughter," Omkari Devi told IANS.
The 35-year old was in no mood to give up and worked extremely hard to prove for the sake of her happiness.
"I
knew this was something I wanted to do. So, during those 8-9 months of
training, I would get up at 4 a.m. to prepare meals for my family and
then head for training," she said.
This hard work has paid off as
for the past four years, Omkari Devi has been working as a commercial
driver and her family has adjusted to her erratic timings.
The
courage of these women along with a few others was acknowledged by SRL
Diagnostics, which honoured them for their achievements.
One of them was Anjina Rajagopalan who calls herself a mother of "orphaned and abandoned."
Way
back in 1988, on her way to work, a man was mercilessly beating a boy.
Her heart melted as she witnessed this incident and brought this
deaf-and-dumb boy home, much to the chagrin of her parents.
"My
friends and family told me why I was getting involved in something that
was useless. Bringing this boy right into my home was not at all
welcomed, but I always knew that I wanted to do something for the
orphans," the 61-year-old Rajagopalan told IANS.
So she started
"Sai Kripa", a home that looks after the abandoned and orphaned children
and gives them shelter, educates them and even arranges their marriage.
"People
will always find ways to discourage you, especially if you are a woman.
They would question you and mock at you, but as women we are
compassionate and courageous to take bold steps, only if we believe in
ourselves," she said.
Today the shelter houses 60 children and she chose to remain single to dedicate all her life to improving their lives.
For
Lope, adversaries in life are the best lesson to prepare you for a
great life ahead, as she admits she finds it difficult to trust anyone,
especially a man, but she hasn't given up hope on marriage.
"I
completely believe in the institution of marriage and companionship. And
this phase of life has left me with a deep desire to be loved and I am
willing to give marriage another chance," she concluded.
(Shilpa Raina can be contacted at [email protected])
