America
“Meet the Patelsâ€: In search of a desi bride (Diaspora Feature)
By
Arun KumarWashington, Sep 11 (IANS) It all began when Ravi
Patel, a 30-year-old Indian-American investment banker turned Hollywood
actor, pestered by his parents on a long flight to India to get married,
agreed to search for his bride the "desi" way.
And Ravi's sister
Geeta, just out of making a war zone documentary about Kashmir, now
learning to handle the camera, started filming "half seriously" the
"family affair" to find a desi partner for Ravi, who had just broken
with his white girlfriend of two years.
How what began as a
family vacation video eventually turned into a hilarious romantic
documentary about arranged marriages is an equally heartbreaking story
as the sibling co-directors of "Meet the Patels" relate it.
"When
we got to India, Ravi realised that what he was going through is what
so many people have gone through," the duo told IANS on phone ahead of
its Friday release in New York City, Chicago and Los Angeles. It opens
in additional US markets including Washington DC, Boston, New Jersey,
Philadelphia, North Carolina, Detroit, and Tampa on Sep 18.
"He
felt so many people were living that story and yet no one had told it
properly," said Geeta who was equally under parental pressure to get
married.
Many a film and media shows "depict arranged marriages
and semi-arranged marriages in Indian culture more like a joke - like
parents are weird, that kind of thing".
"We didn't see it that
way. We felt like our parents (married through this 'desi' system) were
the happiest people we knew," Geeta said. "We were kind of torn because
we wanted that happiness, but we didn't know what process was really
good for us to get there."
The conversion of the home video into a documentary "just happened by accident," said Ravi.
"It
was just kind of natural evolution" with "Mom and Dad breathing down
our necks as if a billion people in India care as much as they do about
why we are not married."
But despite some shaky camera work, they
never thought of reshooting the film. "The documentary is so authentic
and real, what happened at the moment," according to them.
"The only stuff that we put a lot of effort was in producing animated moments," said Ravi.
"The animation came essentially from the fact that we were making this film about our family," added Geeta.
"In
reality TV, when somebody is emotional, they just film it. But for us
it's just disrespectful to film our family going through a very
difficult moment."
But how come their parents did not appear camera conscious at all. "I know that's crazy, right. It was so natural," said Ravi.
"Part
of it is that they never thought this project would really amount to
anything - partially because of the casual way we were shooting it."
The
brother and sister team spent six years in making the film and at the
end of it "nobody wanted it." What kept them going was "Pride," said
Ravi.
"I believed in it. Even if no body watches it, I am going to be proud that I made something I like and that mattered to me."
"We both believed in it," chipped in Geeta.
And
it was "hard, very hard" working together, said Ravi. "You know with
people you love, you tend to be most vulnerable and sometimes the least
respectful and least filtered."
"Geeta
and I have all our crazy fits. But when you are working with your
sister you can't fire her. So you have to find a way to keep it going
and make it work."
"We have to make a commitment," added Geeta.
"As dad says in the movie, life is a commitment." And after all the
fights and disagreements "we have this incredible relationship we would
never have dreamt of."
So what comes next? Are they planning another joint venture on one more desi issue?
"Geeta and I are working on some projects together - some pretty exciting stuff," said Ravi though he would not say what it was.
"I
don't think I would have chosen to work with her if you had asked me
even a year ago," he said. "But it's a testament to the story that our
family is a million times more together."
"Geeta and I decided to
work together more. Mom and Dad are a part of the company now. My Dad
works on this movie 10 hours a day to get every Indian in America
marketing this movie."
"And Mom got every motel owner in America putting up pamphlets. It has become a Patel family business."
(Arun Kumar can be contacted at [email protected])